Cover up please!

I never thought it would happen to me. Ok, so I was probably a bit ignorant. I have read all the stories about mothers being asked to cover up or even leave the airplane when breastfeeding their babies, but I honestly thought it a rare exception rather than a common occurrence. In the seven years I have breastfed my three children I have never had anyone say anything other than positive things to me. It all happened on a KML flight from Singapore to Amsterdam while the flight attendants were getting ready for takeoff. The male flight attendant had been very friendly helping with storing away out luggage and getting my two other older children settled in. I did not think I heard him right at first when he suddenly said that ‘It is our policy to ask you to cover up with a blanket as THAT may offend some of the other passengers’. My reaction: ‘Are you serious?’. He then kept assuring me that it was their policy rather than his opinion, and that it was important to be sensitive to all passengers. I then got him to get the plastic wrapped blanket from the floor between my leg, where I had stored it when settling into my seat. He got down on all four and reached in for the blanket (here we CAN talk about something that may look a bit offensive to some passengers, but I couldn’t help myself – I just had to cling on to the blanket a little extra with my legs, making him have to spend a bit more time down there getting the blanket out...lol). At the time my daughter was almost asleep so she didn’t mind me having a blanket near her face. For the reminding 12+ hrs of the flight my daughter was probably on and off the breast at least fifty times, as she was struggling to get comfortable (not exactly easy on those sardine-seats), and for the most part I didn’t use the blanket. Either my daughter would protest loudly or it was just too hot. I have to add here that he never did bring it up again, although that may be more because he wasn’t actually working in my part of the plane. The air hostess in charge in our part of the cabin came over a little later and commented on the beauty of breastmilk (at the time she was soundly asleep having that spaced out content look on her face) and said she herself had breastfed both of her children. I must admit that my baby is actually 22 months old, and although a bit on the small side for her age, her age might have shocked the guy a bit. Still short of the 2 years recommended by the World Health Organisation though! I also purposely wore a shirt that I could easily pull down to feed rather than lift up, i.e. I probably showed a bit more flesh than I could have, but no more than a low-cut top would. I find this easier on flights as the seatbelt, pillows and the weight of my child’s body makes it hard to keep pulling the shirt up. So why am I still surprised that he requested me to ‘cover up’. Firstly I really can’t see how this would affect anyone else, let alone offend. Sitting at the bulkhead (where there is a wall in front of me rather than seats, and with my older children sitting on either side of me, it would be very hard for anyone to even see, except for maybe on their way back from visits to the lavatory. But seriously, anyone being offended by seeing me feeding my child can feel free to exercise that swivel option their head comes with and take in some of the remaining 270 degrees of view! I would have had no problem being asked to cover up if I was visiting a country where that was expected of me because of that country’s culture, not one bit. But this was an international flight, and yes, there may have been some passengers there that would have preferred me to be more discreet, but being an international flight there was probably also passengers there that find it inappropriate that women show their hair, or legs or any body part for that matter. That doesn’t mean we should all cover up so as not to offend anyone. So why didn’t I protest more at the time? Firstly I was more surprised than upset. But more importantly, I had just spent 8 hrs on another flight followed by 5 hrs on the airport, it was midnight our time, and I was trying to calm three overtired young children, knowing I had another 13 hrs to go on this flight, followed by another 5 hrs on an airport and a final 2 hrs flight to top it off. I simply didn't have the time or energy at the time. So why is it upsetting to me? Obviously it will not affect the way I feed my children or parent in general, in any way. However, I know that had that same comment been put to me say when I only had my first and he was quite young, in other words while I was still wondering what the heck I was doing with this baby, It would likely have been very different. As with any other skill, confidence comes with practise, so new mums especially are often very vulnerable to suggestions, comments and perceived criticism, real or not. In my role as volunteer breastfeeding counsellor I know very well how little comments like that makes mothers think twice about breastfeeding and often start introducing alternatives so they don't have to get in a situation were they feel judged again. I sent a request to see the policy that the attendant was talking about and was sent the following reply (part of it, it was very long and overly friendly written):

"For your information, please find below the relevant article relating to passenger's
behaviour onboard our aircrafts.

Article IX of the general Conditions of carriage:

1. The Carrier reserves the right to assess, in a reasonable manner, the behavior of
Passengers on board the aircraft, and to estimate according to the circumstances whether
said behavior is liable to obstruct, threaten, endanger or not endanger one or more persons,
items of property or the aircraft itself. In this connection, Passengers must not hinder the
crew from performing their duties and must comply with the crew's instructions and
recommendations in order to ensure the security and safety of the aircraft, the smooth
running of the flight and the comfort of the Passengers."

What the? So in other words me breasfeeding my daughter was either obstructive, threatening or endangering others. Interesting! Needless to say they havn't heard the last from me!